If I Die Before I Wake
by NerdAngel
Summary: Consumed by dark thoughts, Dean's mindset could spell trouble for Sam (takes place after "The Executioner' s Song in season 10).
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: I was going to wait and post this after I finished one of my many stories, but I'm just too excited for this one.**

 **This is part of a plot bunny suggested to me by miXiZ and part my own. I will share what the suggestion was once the story is over, I don't want to ruin anything.**

 **This is rated T due to violence and possibly language.**

 **I would like to thank miXiZ for giving me a plot bunny as well as for your friendship and support. As well of course to LilyBolt for your support and friendship. Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, follows, and/or favorites this story and/or any of my other ones.**

 **WARNING: This one is a bit dark (not quite as dark maybe as "Just Close Your Eyes," but still).**

 **Please let me know what you think so far**

 **Spoilers for season 10 up to "The Executioner' s Song."**

Chapter 1

Dean's eyes flew open at the sound of a thud. He bolted up in his seat, quickly wiping away the little bit of drool from the corner of his mouth. His eyes narrowed as they darted around his surroundings. His brow furrowed. He appeared to be sitting at the table in the Men of Letters study room, but he could swear that he and Sam had been on a case. A dream about a case? It wasn't so uncommon for someone to dream about their job, especially a job like theirs.

"Sam?" Dean called out turning in his seat to look behind him. He sat completely still, listening for his brother to respond or for a sound to indicate he was there. He didn't get either. Maybe Sam had zonked out in his bed. Or maybe, and more likely, he was locked in his room doing research. The younger brother was well aware of how little sleep Dean had been getting as well as how restless the sleep he did get was. If Sam had seen him passed out in the study room, it was highly probable that he had collected whatever he needed as quietly as he could, and slipped back to his room careful not to wake him. Dean waited a second longer, then pushed himself from the table and set off towards Sam's room. As he rounded the corner that led down the hall, his brother appeared. The younger Winchester jumped back slightly so as to avoid a collision, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Hey," he greeted. Dean hadn't heard him. The instant his green eyes fell on his little brother, something dark crept into his gaze. He had a sudden urge to take hold of his brother's head and run it repeatedly into the nearest wall until blood was visibly dripping from his ears and pouring from his nose. He could feel his body tense at the image of his brother's eyes rolling in the back of his head as he continued to pound it into the wall nonstop. His heart was racing, his adrenaline uncanny, pure euphoria rushing over him and consuming every other emotion. The sound of his brother pleading, begging him to stop filling his ears and only feeding his excitement. "D'n?" Sam's hazel eyes searched his big brother's fixated stare on him. It looked vacant but at the same time, the way he stared at him made Sam uneasy. It was like Dean's body was with him, but his mind was miles and miles away. "Dean?" He tried again. Sam knew better than to touch his brother when he zoned out, the Mark of Cain was usually the one in control during those times and he knew what that could mean for him; even though he also knew that it wasn't really Dean who was responsible. An unsettling grin twisted his face, causing Sam to wince slightly. "DEAN!"

The smile slid from the oldest Winchester and he blinked rapidly, staring at his brother muddled.

"What?" He asked.

"Dean...You alright?" Sam asked gradually, eyes never faltering from his brother's.

"Uh yeah...yeah. I'm good," he responded throwing Sam what he had hoped was a reassuring smile. The younger brother gave a small nod playing along, but his guard was never down. "I'm going to hit the shower," he informed Sam rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, ok. Sounds good," he responded. Dean gave his brother a nod and then disappeared down the hall towards his room.

Once he was locked away from his brother in the restroom, Dean was able to reflect on what had happened back in the hall. His body was shaking visibly, his breath heavy, his eyes wide as he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. Sam had gotten onto Dean's bad side before, it wasn't unnatural for siblings, especially when the siblings were brothers who were both stubborn and self righteous. What hadn't been natural had been what Dean had felt while the scene of him beating his brother to death played out in his mind. Bliss, exhilaration, power. Sam hadn't done anything or said anything lately that would even warrant such a thought to materialize, nothing he did ever could. Or, rather, should. His eyes fell from his reflection onto the red mark that was located on his forearm. He ran his left index finger and middle finger over it. It didn't feel any different, it wasn't burning or glowing. The mark simply sat acting docile, as though it were nothing more then a tattoo. A dark awareness took hold of him. The desire wasn't coming from the mark, it was coming from within himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read, review, follow, and/or favorite this story as well as any other pieces of mine. A special thanks to miXiZ for your constant support, friendship, and confidence in my work. Also a special thank you to LilyBolt for your constant support and friendship as well as the unbelievable reviews you leave. You are truly amazing in both your own work and in really digging deep into others work. Thank you my friend for taking time out of your busy life to read my stories.**

 **I would like to warn you there is some language in this for those who are concerned about that sort of thing.**

 **Reviews are appreciated.**

Ch 2

After Dean had showered and put on clean clothes, he felt next to normal. There was still a feeling of something not quite right, but at least he wasn't shaking anymore and he was breathing normally. However, Dean decided that it might be a better idea that he stay in his room for the rest of the day, just in case. He put on some classic rock music and began to go through the items in his room, straightening up the weapons he had hung on the wall so that they didn't look so empty, relocating pictures so that they could be seen by him regularly, tossing garbage into the little tin can he had sitting by his bed, and organizing his albums and porn magazines. Dean had never really been a neat freak, that was more a Sam trait, but he felt a kind of calm when he went through and tidied up his room. He hadn't had his own space since he was four when little Sammy had been in his nursery. As much as Dean enjoyed his brother's company, most of the time, he couldn't deny that he was grateful to have a place he could go to be alone. There was no doubt in his mind that Sam felt the same way about his own room. The brothers were with each other more than a married couple, so a time out place was greatly appreciated by both. Of course, they did tend to spend more time together anyways. Researching together, eating meals together, they even watched a movie from time to time.

A loud rap at Dean's door caused him to jump slightly and fling the album he had been holding onto the ground. He growled bending down to retrieve it, and putting it where it belonged.

"Dean?" Sam called out after another knock.

Dean cleared his throat "yeah?"

"You ok?" Sam asked.

"Yes Sam, I'm fine," Dean respond with a hint of irritation in is tone.

"Alright," he said apologetically. "I uh, I was thinking of grabbing something to eat. Anything sound good?"

"No I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Positive." There was a click and Dean's door knob jiggled.

"Dean, why is your door locked?" Sam asked nervously.

"I'm busy."

"Please, just, open the door," the younger brother called out jiggling the handle again.

"Leave it alone Sam," Dean warned. He could feel the heat rising inside him once again.

"I will pick this," he countered sincerely.

"Sam so help me, if you don't leave me alone, I will come out there and rip your throat out with my teeth! I'm not fucking around, I'll do it!" Dean sat with his teeth bared and his eyes narrowed and focused on the door, listening. The jiggling stopped and Dean heard Sam's footfall grow distant. Part of him wanted to go out and rip his throat out anyways, but he fought back the urge. Dean blinked away his gaze and put his head in his hands. What was wrong with him? There hadn't been any reason for such a harsh response, no matter how tired he had become of Sam's constant checking up on him. He sat with his fingers gripping his short hair tightly, his eyes settling on one spot on the ground.

XXX

Sam stood staring at his brother's door awhile longer. He knew the difference between a bluff and a threat when it came to Dean, and this had not been a bluff. Part of him didn't care what Dean said and he was tempted to break in anyways, but he decided that would be an unwise idea. He sighed heavily in defeat and headed out to get some food.

The Impala' s keys were with Dean, so Sam had to settle for snaking a ride.

He decided on hitting up the nearest fast food joint grabbing himself a chicken Cesar salad and a bacon cheeseburger for his brother, just in case he actually was hungry. He returned to the bunker, but instead of going to sit in eat at a table, he made a B line for Dean's room. Sam took a deep breath as he raised his hand up to knock on the bedroom door.

"Dean, I just wanted to let you know there's a bacon cheeseburger for you if you get hungry. I'll leave it in the kitchen on the table." He pressed his ear to the door. Nothing. "I'm going to eat and then I'm going to turn in for the night, let me know if you need me." When silence was again the answer, Sam sighed and headed for the kitchen. He was worried about Dean no doubt, but with the mark and how it makes him edgy, he didn't want to do anything that might provoke it. Sam sat down, ate his salad, and then took off to his room for the night. Once inside and in his night clothes, his fingers rested on the lock as he stood thinking. With a shrug and a reassurance that it was only Dean being in a pissy mood and the mark flaring up, he got into bed. He wasn't quite ready to sleep yet, but he sat on top of his covers and scanned through some of the books he had recovered from the dusty shelves of the Men of Letters library. Sam read until it was a struggle to keep his eyes open and his head began to drop against his shoulder or fall to his chest. Finally, he lost the battle of being awake and fell into a sound sleep.

XXX

Dean awoke in a haze. He was aware of his surroundings, but it was as though his mind was still asleep. His eyes rotated around his room as if looking at it for the first time. Slowly, he climbed out of bed, walked over to his door, unlocked it, and slipped out. His socked feet made no sound as he moved. The hallway lights led him from the rooms, up to the dimly lit study, and from there he ventured down into the dark kitchen. His eyes moved around as if searching for something. Dean walked over to the counter towards the knife block that sat towards the corner, and pulled out a carving knife. His eyes gleamed as he ran them and his left index finger over the blade. A trickle of blood wet his finger. He made his way back through the pitch black kitchen, through the study, and down to the hall; stopping short at the room numbered 21. He inhaled deeply, then slowly turned the handle. His eyes lit up with sinister delight as he twisted the knob and peered inside. The lights were off, save the faint glow of his brother's cell phone. Dean inched his way into Sam's room and padded over to his brother's sleeping form. He had been laying on his side, both hands tucked under the pillow, legs together, and mouth partly opened as soft snores escaped him. Dean stood for a few minutes watching his brother sleep, he looked so peaceful, so unaware of his brother's presence. Slowly, he raised the knife up, grasping the handle with both hands so as to add power to the blow, then quickly swung his hands and the knife down towards Sam's head.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: Alright everyone, I'm back! So on my way home I lost my kindle so I'm very sad to announce that all of my stories I had been in the process of, have been lost. That being said, it may take a bit longer for me to post certain stories, but I promise that I am still posting them. I just ask for patience as I try** to **recreate what I have lost. I'm also a bit under the weather so I may not post a lot for** a **couple of days. However I really wanted to make sure that I could post something so that I can keep you all updated. Luckily, I was able to recover this chapter thanks to miXiZ. Sorry for the long note, but I wanted to make sure to keep you all posted.**

 **I would like to thank anyone who has read, reviewed, followed and/or favorited this story, any of my other ones, and/or me as a writer. I can't thank you all enough for everything! A special thank you to miXiZ for your friendship, support, and belief in me and this story and especially in this chapter. I would also like to thank LilyBolt for all of your support, reviews, and friendship as well. And last but not least a special thanks to spnfanforlife for your enthusiasm for this story, I hope this chapter is just as intriguing as the last ones have been. Also thank you Guest. I'm not sure if you are the same one who has commented on some of my other work, but even if you aren't, thank you very much!**

Ch 3

Sam's eyes flew open and he rolled to the other side of the bed onto his back, just missing the knife which was now embedded in his pillow in the exact spot his head had been only seconds ago. He had managed to grab a hold of his hand gun which he kept under his pillow as he rolled out of the way. His hazel eyes were large and orb like, his lips were parted and his chest rose and fell quickly as he aimed the gun at the intruder.

"Dean?" He breathed confusion and fear shining in his doe eyes. It was as though the older brother had woken from a sleep walk. He looked from the knife sticking out of the pillow over at his brother. Dean turned his gaze elsewhere, unable to stand the look he was receiving. "What are you doing?"

"I-" Dean started. Without another word, he dashed from his brother and back to his own room where he closed his door and walked over to the mirror that hung above the sink. He was shaking again, but this time more uncontrollably. The words Cain spoke just a few minutes before Dean had thrust the First Blade into him came back, echoing through his mind.

 _"Had it ever occurred to you? Had you ever mused upon the fact that you're living my life in reverse? My story began when I killed my brother and that's where your story inevitably will end."_

Dean fought back tears as he remembered the words as clearly as if they were being spoken to him all over again.

 _"And then! Then would come the murder you'd never survive. The one that would finally turn you into as much of a savage as it did me. Your brother Sam."_

Dean stared at his reflection in the mirror as though by doing so, he would find the cause of his actions. His eyes flicked down to look at the Mark. Like before, it simply lay on his arm, harmless. He looked up at his reflection again studying his eyes. They looked like his own eyes, no black, just green.

XXX

Sam lay with his gun out for a while longer, waiting to see if he would come back. When he didn't, he lowered it. He hadn't imagined it. Dean had really tried to bury a knife in his head. There had to be a reason. Possession? No, they had the tattoos, nothing could get in. He had cured Dean of being a demon himself, so that couldn't be it. An imposture? Possible but doubtful. The Mark? Yes that was the likely candidate in all this. The Mark had a tendency to take over Dean now and then.

Sam got to his feet and walked over to his door. He bit his lower lip as he thought on his next action. He wanted to go to Dean, to check on him and make sure he was alright. The terrified look in his eyes told Sam it hadn't been all him. However, something was keeping the younger Winchester from darting off to his brother's room. What was it? His heart was still pounding and his breath was slowly returning to normal, but he had a feeling in his chest. It felt warm and tight. When he moved his hand to push his hair our of his eyes, he found it was shaking. It was ridiculous to even think it. Yet, maybe it wasn't? Dean hadn't been acting right since he killed Cain. Well, longer than that really, but it had become considerably more concerning. Sam instead closed his door, and locked it. He returned to his bed and pulled his laptop up. There was no way he was going to be sleeping tonight. Dean's condition was getting worse and he needed his help before he made another swing at Sam and next time, he may not miss.

XXX

It was at a time like this Dean really wished Castiel was a full blown angel again. Sure he could pray, but the angel's signal was a bit fuzzy and sometimes it would go through and other times it wouldn't. What would he say to him anyways? What could he possibly do to help? Or what if he showed up and he tried to kill him too? Dean gripped the sink tight and bowed his head, closing his eyes.

XXX

Sam sat with eyes surveying the computer screen, clicking one site and then the next. None were useful they all said the same thing. Nothing about how to get rid of it or what could be used to keep it at bay. Nothing other than killing that is. Sam was just about to search another site, when he heard a knock on the door. He froze and his eyes snapped over in the direction of the sound.

"Sammy?" Dean called out.

"Dean?" He replied not moving from his spot.

"Sammy I need to talk to you." The younger Winchester slowly placed the laptop from his lap to the bed, grabbed his hand gun, and slid off. His eyes remained glued to the door as he crept closer.

Sam unlocked the door, took a deep breath and opened it. For a brief second he saw his brother, then the next thing he knew, his vision went dark and he was out.

When Sam woke up, it took him a while to figure out if his eyes were still closed or if they had opened. Wherever he was, it was pitch black, not even the slightest light peeked through anywhere. The back of his head ached and felt wet. He groaned as he tried to move a hand to inspect his skull. Something was preventing him from accomplishing that simple task. He didn't need to see to know both arms were tied to the arms of a chair, as were his legs. He didn't struggle, there was no reason for it, he had been tied up enough times to know that.

It suddenly became clear to him that his eyes had indeed been open as they were ambushed with a bright light. They shut instinctively the second after it happened. Footsteps could be heard approaching him, heavy booted feet. Sam risked cracking open one eye. His vision was blurry, no doubt for the same reason his head ached and was likely bleeding. He fought back nausea as he opened the other eye. It was as though he were looking out of prescription glasses. The only thing that filled his view, had been a blurry grinning face.

"Rise and shine Sammy," rang his brother's voice.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh Sammy Sammy Sammy. You are just too easy," the older man laughed. "I mean, you just fell right for the whole 'we need to talk' thing."

"It's the Mark, isn't it?" Sam asked trying to keep the fear out of his voice. "Dean, you have to fight this. You don't want to hurt me, I know you don't. Please."

"Well now, you see," Dean sighed and rose to his feet, peering down at his brother who in return looked up at him. "You just don't know me very well. I would love nothing more then to strip your skin off piece by piece." Sam's eyes grew wide as he tried to make out Dean's face. "I want to roast you like a chestnut on an open fire."

"Dean-"

"SHUT UP!" He roared. His eyes flashed dangerously at the helpless man. After a second the grin reappeared and his eyes softened. "You've heard of the phrase payback's a bitch? Well, welcome to payback little brother."

Sam's brow knitted and it made his head swim slightly as he watched his brother begin to circle around him like a shark.

"What are you talking about?"

"And here I thought you were the smart one. I'm talking about the trade off with Crowley, the handcuffs, the locking me up in here, the holy water, and the damn injections. I'm talking about you trying to rid me for good."

Sam's eyes grew even wider as he caught on to what Dean was saying.

"That's right Sammy, let it all sink in," Dean taunted as he watched his brother.

"No," he whispered.

"Oh yeah, it's official, lean mean demon Dean is back." The grin the older brother had been wearing was now a full on Cheshire cat smile and his eyes flicked from green to jet black. "Miss me Sammy?"

"No, that's not possible! Cas and I...we saved you Dean. We cured you."

Dean made a clicking sound with his tongue as he began circling again. "Cas," he said as though the name left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Cas will get what's coming to him, you can count on it. But..." Dean had stopped circling and Sam could hear him doing something out of sight. He tried to turn to get a view of some sort, but he was unable to turn completely and his vision was still a bit fuzzy. "I have priorities of course and you know me," Dean reappeared with a hammer in his right hand "Sammy always comes first."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Alright, I'm finally updating this story. I'm sorry it took so long and I'm sorry it's a short one. I ended having my Kindle returned to me so all is well now.**

 **I do want to WARN you all that this is a bit of a violent chapter.**

 **Thank you for reading, reviewing, following, and/or favoriting this story, any of my other ones and/ or me as a writer.**

 **Special thanks to LilyBolt and miXiZ for all your support and friendship. Also to spnfanforlife for your enthusiasm. I'm sorry it took so long, but I hope it was worth the wait.**

Ch 4

"Dean, please. I know you're in there. Please-"

"Ah Sammy," Dean's eyes and head moved in a synchronized circle "stop with the bitching and moaning. You know," he swung the hammer down and pointed it in Sam's face "you wouldn't even be in this situation if you had just left well enough alone. You could have gone about your pathetic miserable little life and I could have been throwing back a cold one or banging some chick. But, that just ain't you, is it Sammy?" Dean's black eyes smiled wickedly down at him. "Of course you would come looking for your 'wayward' big bro. But not for the reason you let Cas believe. No. It's because more than ANYTHING, you refuse to follow orders." Dean shrugged at him "you always have. You can't stand the thought of someone telling you what to do. When I left you that note, it hadn't been a request, it was an order. And now here we are, full circle. With a few minor differences."

"Wow," Sam scoffed "you sure do like the sound of your own voice."

Sam's hand exploded with pain as Dean's hammer swung down and made contact, causing him to let out a loud yell.

"I like that sound even better," Dean countered with a chuckle. The younger brother's eyes began to water as he hissed through his teeth. "Come on Sammy, don't hold it in. I want to hear you scream. I want you to feel pain like what you did to me while I sat boiling in my own blood."

"Dean, listen to me-" he cut himself off with another scream as the hammer met Sam's shin.

"No, you listen!" Dean yelled over his brother. "I'm completely and utterly through with your bullshit. You got lucky last time, but this ain't last time." A slam into Sam's ribs had him doubled over as much as his restrains allowed. He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, gasping. Dean disappeared from his view once more and this time he returned, the hammer was gone. "How're you holding up Sammy?" Dean questioned with mock concern. "You hanging in there? I sure hope so, the hammer was just a little throw back." Without taking his eyes off of the younger man, Dean removed a syringe from his pocket. "The party's just getting started" he grinned. Sam gulped and eyed it. "Look familiar?" He asked waving the instrument around carelessly. "Now, this isn't going to make you feel like your insides are burning, but it should still be fun to watch." Dean pushed up on the plunge slightly as liquid squirted from the needle. He knew Sam only too well. Unlike an unknown enemy, the older sibling knew all of the younger's tricks, including freeing himself from being tied up.

"Dean-" Sam tried to reason with his brother one last time, but to no avail. The only thing he could do was sit and watch as the man that had been his protector all his life, inserted the needle into his arm. The younger Winchester suppressed a scream as he felt the substance being injected into his veins. Dean emptied the syringe and then ripped the needle from his arm. He waited, eyes glued to the beat up man in front of him. Within minutes Sam's head began to sag as though it were too heavy to hold upright and his eye lids began to flutter. The older man untied his brother and watched as he began to slump in the chair.

"D'-Wh-Wh't did you do to-to m-me?" Sam slurred slowly.

"Oh that? That's just a little taste of that payback I promised you little brother." Dean watched as Sam began to slid from the chair altogether, until he hit the floor with a thud. He crumbled to his knees with his arms flopped uselessly to his sides. He tried to lift his head to look up at his brother, but his entire body had felt as though he were made of concrete. "When was the last time you and I played a game, huh?" He smiled down at Sam. "I think we're about due. So," the room exploded into screams of pain as Dean stabbed a knife into Sam's upper leg. "I'll give you till the count of...hell, let's make it five." Dean covered his face with his hands. "1...2...3..." Sam pulled the knife from his leg with a grunt and began to make an attempt to flee the room. He knew what he should do, but he refused to stab Dean. He was going to save him, there had to be a way and if there wasn't, then and only then would he use the weapon his brother had supplied him with. For now, he would play Dean's way."...4...5" as the last number left his lips, Dean's black eyes 're-emerged from his hands, a grin curling the sides of his mouth. "Ready or not, here I come."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: Alright everyone, thank you SO much for your patience with this update. The play is up and I should be back to posting regularly. Sorry this is a short chapter, I should be wrapping it up in another chapter or two.**

 **Thank you all for reading, reviewing, following, and/or favoriting this story. Thank you LilyBolt and miXiZ for your support and reviews as well as spnfanforlife, franjane91, Guest, and gallifreyan-halliwell for your reviews and enthusiasm.**

Ch 5

Sam had managed to drag himself out of Dean's sight before he heard him sound off that he was on the hunt. If he couldn't get somewhere safe and well stocked with first aid items, he would never make it far. As it was already, a small blood trail was a dead give away as to where the injured brother was. He quickly removed his overshirt and tied it as tight as he could over the gaping wound, biting back a yell or a groan every time he moved his leg and trying to avoid using his busted right hand as much as possible. Breathing wasn't easy and it came out in sharp painful heaves as he struggled to keep himself from making any noise. Sam made it to the hall where their rooms were surprisingly fast for a man who had just been beaten with a hammer, stabbed in the leg with a knife, and injected with...whatever it was that was now coursing through him. His head began to loll slightly as he stopped to rest his aching body. His heart should be pounding against his chest from everything that was going on and the effort he had had to make just to crawl away, but it was alarmingly slow. He didn't doubt it was another symptom from the mystery drug.

Sam tried to look off to the left and then the right, but his head refused to corporate. He knew better than to make an attempt to get to his room, Dean would be expecting that. He would also be expecting his little brother to try his room, the bathrooms, and anywhere else in the bunker where they stashed emergency kits.

"Sammy, you know you can't escape me. Not with that busted up sack of bones you call a body." Sam froze holding his breath. "You know, that back there, that was me going easy on you. When I find you, and believe me brother I will find you, you're going to BEG me to kill you."

Death wasn't anything new to either of the Winchesters and there were so many gruesome messed up ways Sam could imagine himself dying, but by the hands of his older brother, albeit currently psychotic and demonic, was not one even he had envisioned. But Dean wasn't a demon. Or he hadn't been after he and Cas had cured him. They had cured him, right? Had that all been a dream? A vision? No that couldn't be, the demon who called himself his brother had referred to it. They had saved him. Then he killed Cain and that house full of men. Had it triggered something maybe? It was possible that Demon Dean had just been dormant, not gone, and killing had brought him back.

Both he and his brother, as well as Cas, had all been worried about the outcome of Dean killing the very man who had given him the cursed Mark in the first place. The very man that the Mark of Cain was named after, the very man who was called the father of murder, the first man to kill his own brother. Sam hadn't expected his death to cure the Mark, though he would be lying if he said he hadn't hoped it might. Maybe the consequences for killing him, had been much more serious than any of them had predicted. If that was the case, maybe he couldn't permanently save his brother from himself. They might have to treat it as though it were a werewolf curse. When his eyes went jet black he would have to lock Dean up and inject him with purified blood, and he would do that if that's what it took. If he had to play a deadly game of and Mr. Hyde with his brother, so be it. As long as he was alive and ok.

"I can smell you," Dean's voice called out echoing through the hall. "Your blood, your fear...It's intoxicating."

Run. Sam's brain was telling him to run. Dean was close. But the drug in his system was forcing him to do something else completely. How had it come to this? The last few days seemed so hazy, like he had blacked out. The last thing Sam could remember was he and his brother working a case...

The case. His haze. Dean's condition. It all made sense. Or at least he hoped it did. The library. If he could just make it over to the Men of Letters library, he could figure out how to fix things. Or if he could get Dean to help...but that was out of the question. It was going to have to be up to him and him alone to save both of them before they were both lost.

"I bet you regret your homeward bound decision," Dean said. "Bet you wish you hadn't brought your orphan Annie brother home now huh? You know, once I find you and rip your spine out through your mouth, I'm going after Cas next. He has you to thank for that. If you had just left him out of your Where's Waldo search, he may not be on my to kill list." He was getting nearer and at this point, Sam was fully unable to move anymore. It was as though his insides had become cement. He sat sagged against the wall, his chin touching his chest, his arms hanging uselessly to his sides, legs outstretched giving him the appearance of a rag doll. The only part of him that was still working away as fast as it could, was his brain. He needed to get up, he needed to get to the library, he needed to save his brother and himself. He wasn't that far, he just needed to get up the stairs.

Suddenly, Sam's head was jerked up by his hair and he was staring into a pair of jet black eyes.

"Hiya Sammy," Dean chimed with a sickening grin. "I told you I'd find you."

 **A/n: Like I said, I know it's short, but hopefully it was a good start back. Thank you again for your patience and for reading, feel free to let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: Alright everyone, here it is! The ending if "If I Die Before I Wake." It's sad to have it come to an end but I have definitely enjoyed writing this one as much as I did writing "Because Your My Brother."**

 **Thank you so much everyone for reading my story and for everyone who has left me a review, followed, and/ofavorited. Special Thank you to LilyBolt for your support as well as everything else.**

Ch 6

"D-"

"Shhhhh," the demon put his index finger of the hand that wasn't holding Sam by the hair to his lips. "Don't bother wasting your breath on useless pathetic words Sammy."

"Ths st rl," he slurred. Dean's hand then balled into a fist and made contact with his face. The younger brother could feel it already beginning to swell, but couldn't feel any pain. "T-This...isn't...r-real."

"Shut up!" The demon roared landing another punch.

"Think about it. We were working a case and-" another blow.

"I said shut up!"

"Dean, please, I know you're in there. I saw your face back in my room. You were terrified, you don't want to do this."

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" The older man pulled his brother's head back and slammed it against the wall. Sam still didn't feel anything. The knock to the head would have put Sam's lights out easily or at least left him with a bad headache in the real world. It must been working for him, but he wasn't leaving his brother. Not again.

"Come on man, try to think back. We were investigating a murder where the victim's insides were jelly and there was-"

"A blue handprint," Dean finished in a low voice as though he was remembering.

"Yes, a blue handprint! Dean, we're in a nightmare. This isn't real." Sam could feel his heartbeat starting to pick up.

"No!" His head met the wall again. "Shut your fucking mouth!"

"No no, stay with me here Dean. We can get out of this. You did it once before, remember? With Charlie. Just, fight this fear. " The demon let go of Sam's head, allowing his chin to fall to his chest. The younger man managed to raise it up again himself, with minimal difficulty. When he looked up at his brother, the black in his eyes seemed to disparate and his natural green returned. The look of malice was replaced with terror as he stared over at Sam as though he had witnessed a train wreck. "It's alright," the young man said quickly trying to reassure his big brother. "Welcome back."

Sam's eyes popped open just in time to see a man looming over Dean who was sitting in a chair next to him. As quietly and with as little movement as he could, the younger man began to look around on the ground, until he spotted the knife dipped in lamb's blood that must have clattered to the floor from Dean's hand after they were attacked. As Sam slowly began to bend down to retrieve it, the man spun from Dean and immediately his attention fell on him. He moved quicker, snatching up the blade just before he could get it kicked away from him and dodged the now blue glowing hand that was reaching out for him. He wobbled slightly, the effect of the Djinn still with him. He managed to draw the creature away from Dean who's eyes were still closed, his head sagged towards his right shoulder.

Djinn lunged at the younger brother and managed to grab hold of his button up shirt. Before Sam could be returned to the nightmare he had just escaped from, he plunged the knife into the monster's throat and twisted. Gargles emulated from his throat as blood spat at Sam. With a labored grunt, he ripped the knife out and let the Djinn fall to the ground. The once glowing hand and eyes were now a dull grey. Sam made his way back to his brother. Dean's complexion was a few shades lighter then his normal tone and his face was glistening with sweat.

"Dean. Hey hey hey, come on," Sam slapped his face lightly. "Wake up. Wake up damn it." His eyes were met with a pair of groggy green ones and he let go of a breath he had been holding. "Dean! Hey," he greeted with a weary grin. His brother didn't respond, but instead just looked at him briefly before averting his eyes, his chest heaving.

Once they were back at the Bunker and Sam had cleaned up the blood that had been spewed onto his face and put on a clean shirt, he went in search of Dean. He found him sitting in the kitchen with hard liquor in his hand and a deep haunted stare in his eyes, which were fixed on the coffee pot across from the table. Sam leaned in the doorway, observing his brother who had been too lost in his thoughts to notice him. He cleared his throat, causing Dean to shake himself from his zone and bring his eyes back to life. They fell on his brother.

He raised the bottle of alcohol that sat by his glass towards him. "I'm good, thanks," Sam politely declined.

Dean lowered the bottle and instead collected his glass again and took a deep drink, his eyes staring straight ahead of him. Sam licked his lips nervously. "Dean," he started gently, "you know I don't blame-"

"Don't," the older man responded sharply. His eyes flicked up to his brother's. Sam sighed visibly, his own sympathetic hazel stare causing Dean to turn his attention to his drink. The small amount of time Sam had had to meet his big brother's eyes had been enough for him to see that they were sunken in and heavy not with sleep, but with something much more daunting.

"We will find a way to get rid of that thing, for good. I promise." Dean scoffed and shook his head as he finished off the rest of what was left in the glass.

"Yeah ok Sammy...Sam," he quickly corrected himself and bowed his head.

The younger brother pulled away from the doorway and made his way down towards Dean. The older sibling got up from his spot at the table and moved back. Sam froze for a second, then continued slowly as though Dean was a deer that he was trying not to spook. Hurt and understanding shining in his eyes.

"It's alright Dean," he coaxed softly.

"No, it isn't. It's far from ok Sam. I almost-" the older man choked.

"It wasn't you."

"Stop." There was a beat of silence between the two. "You look like crap warmed over, you should go get some sleep."

"Preaching to the choir," Sam retorted light heartedly with a hint of a smirk.

"You go catch some zs, I'm going to keep looking," he responded.

"I think it would be better if you got a bit of rest too. We'll start up again tomorrow after we've had some actual sleep."

"I'm not tired." The younger Winchester knew this behavior from his brother only too well. Dean was too afraid to sleep. Too worried he would have a nightmare again. His brother had been pushing him away progressively more in the recent events. Ever since he killed Cain, Dean had become even more like that of a wounded wild animal then he already was. The difference now was that Sam knew how badly it scared him and how badly he feared what he might do to his little brother and what he'd become if he couldn't break free of the curse. Unfortunately, Dean now knew that Sam was aware too. Even worse, the Djinn had locked them away in the same dream because both Winchesters had the same fear. Now Dean knew that for certain too, which meant he was likely to retreat into his shell even more than he already had.

"Look, I know you're scared, but-"

"You know what, I think I will turn in," Dean said keeping his distance from his brother as he passed by him and started towards the hallway.

"Dean-"

"Night Sam." With that the older sibling left the younger standing in the kitchen. Sam sighed heavily and stared off after his brother before retiring to his own space for the night.

XXX

Dean reluctantly entered his room in the Men of Letters Bunker. Everything was exactly as he had left it and exactly how it had been in the nightmare. He approached the mirror hanging above his sink and slowly peered into it, Cain's voice buzzed through his mind like a fly.

 _"My story began when I killed my brother and that's where your story inevitably will end."_

Ghostly green eyes stared back at him as he felt the burning itch creep into his right arm.

 **A special special thank you to miXiZ for not only your support and reviews m, but suggestion. She suggested that the boys were at odds due to some supernatural creature manipulating them, but they are able to see through it in the end. I truly enjoyed writing Demon Dean, might have to do it again sometime, thank you my friend.**

 **If anyone has any suggestions (non slash/ship related), I'm all ears.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


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